From Where There’s Smoke
“Relational aggression should never be trivialized. It is not “just” or “only” bullying, nor is it an appropriate character building experience, especially in its extreme form, any more than incest or rape.
Granted, people have come out of those experiences stronger, but that’s a reflection of the survivors’ fortitude, not the appropriateness […]

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From “Where There’s Smoke”
They not only hurt you in the moment, they can develop a life and momentum of their own. A bad reputation can follow you in your old circle or proceed you before you enter a new one. It can freeze you in time. A bad reputation becomes other people’s negative expectations, a […]

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Where There’s Smoke
“The relational aggressor uses other people to express negative emotions she feels, but cannot or chooses not to express directly, herself.
Enlisting other people to treat another person badly for her enables the aggressor to channel her anger, hatred or jealousy, while preserving her image as a “nice girl”. The more people are […]

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“I have chosen to take what I have learned, through my experiences as a target, to benefit not only myself with a wee bit more wisdom and insight, but to share what I have learned with others. I could not do this, if I did not, also, see within the aggressor, the reflection of my […]

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Part of the damage of relational aggression comes from wounds you get, fighting to salvage your standing with a group of people who aren’t worth the effort.
From Where There’s Smoke
Demian,
~DreamSinger - Healing Songs

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