• For Our Daughters
  • Backstabber
    This is a song I wrote from my personal experience with relational aggression.

    Stream Song Broadband
    Stream Song Dial Up


  • Double Dragon

    The Double Dragon is an appropriate symbol for the topic of covert aggression and empowerment - two heads coming out of one body.

    For in truth, the dragons exist one within the other, as both aggression and empowerment exist within each person.

    Relational aggression isn't so much about a specific person, a "bitch" we love to hate, as much as a state of mind; a set of choices we all can make.

    The possibility for their manifestation exists in every person. Some people do play the role of aggressor as opposed to target, but to become an aggressor is only a choice away for each one of us.

    Be willing then, to see yourself, if only in potential, in both roles - aggressor and target. Doing so will give you insight and understanding, and with that, true empowerment.

    Demian Yumei,
    ~"DreamSinger"

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Target to bully to target…

Published By Demian Yumei On Thursday, July 22nd 2010. Under Demian's Articles, cyber bullying    
Target to bully to target…
Here's an example of how how bullying can spiral out of control, and how roles can switch back and forth as assaults are met with assaults. It's the recent news story of Jessi Slaughter (online name). Parry Aft is interviewed by Good Morning America in response to this situation where an ... Read More

Telling Your Story

Published By Demian Yumei On Sunday, July 18th 2010. Under Demian's Articles, Updates and Events  Tags: , ,   
Telling Your Story
Revised this blog and created a Covert Bullying page at Facebook. There's just too much pain and too little understanding of the damage covert abuse in all its forms can inflict upon others. Whenever people share their experience, there's always the insensitive and callous poster who feels the need to bash ... Read More

Relational Aggression in Marriage?

Published By Demian Yumei On Sunday, September 27th 2009. Under Demian's Articles  Tags: , , , ,   
Relational Aggression in Marriage?
I was recently asked if relational aggression could be found in marriage. Yes. Relational aggression can be found in marriage, in politics, in churches, in businesses and higher education. Relational aggression can exist in any social interaction. Relational aggression is not age or gender. It's covert abuse and manipulation. When did ... Read More

August Update

Published By Demian Yumei On Friday, August 7th 2009. Under Demian's Articles    
August Update
I have been gone these long months, taking care of a dear, dear friend, Kenny, - my first ex-husband, as a matter of fact, with whom I had become very close to in the last few years of his life. This past June, he passed away at home. He had ... Read More

Unintended Consequences?

Published By Demian Yumei On Friday, February 27th 2009. Under Demian's Articles  Tags: , , , , , ,   
Unintended Consequences?
At home school co-op a few days ago, one of the mothers talked about her friend who knew of a child, going through bullying in first grade. She said this child suffered alienation and was treated meanly by the other kids. The alienation was orchestrated by one child, whose lead ... Read More

Chinese New Year

Published By Demian Yumei On Monday, January 26th 2009. Under Demian's Articles  Tags: , , , ,   
Chinese New Year
Happy Chinese New Year! Year of the Ox. The ox stands for persistence and tenacity. I hope for you this year the strength and perseverance to be true to your ideals and principles, and your own healing path. Where there is duplicity and manipulation, may there be clarity and empowerment. Where there ... Read More

When we hesitate to define our boundaries

Published By Demian Yumei On Friday, January 23rd 2009. Under Demian's Articles, Healing Steps  Tags: , , ,   
When we hesitate to define our boundaries
So many of us feel guilty about setting boundaries, as if somehow it's just not a nice thing to do. We feel guilty, because most people are basically caring people. When people try to intrude into our space, we can sense on some level their desperation. We know they are feeling ... Read More

Some Observations

Published By Demian Yumei On Saturday, August 16th 2008. Under Demian's Articles  Tags: , ,   
Some Observations
Well, I've been busy off doing other things, as you may well have noticed. I had my hands full ending the home school year and getting ready for another. We're going to be doing things differentlly this year, at least to start off with, and there are a lot of ... Read More

Comments accidentally deleted

Published By Demian Yumei On Saturday, August 16th 2008. Under Demian's Articles    
Comments accidentally deleted
I'm so sorry, but for some reason my spam filter is acting up. I accidentally deleted some legitimate comments along with the spam, and when I tried to retrieve them like I'm supposed to be able to, I wasn't allowed. I'm very upset with this, as people's comments and experiences are ... Read More

Have you ever noticed…

Published By Demian Yumei On Wednesday, December 19th 2007. Under Demian's Articles  Tags: , , ,   
Have you ever noticed…
...that when you call a child "fat", "stupid", or "ugly", it's bullying? But when you call an adult those things...it's comedy? ... Read More
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