Intro to Healing Steps Series
Healing Steps 1
Healing Steps 2

Healing doesn’t stand still. With one act of blessing another, in the small drama between two people, the goodwill I felt within my heart with “Dancing Cranes” evolved into “For the Sake of Love“. From microcosm to macrocosm, from individual to global, that’s how healing works.

Letting someone go isn’t the same as forgiving them, but it’s a wonderful start.

Forgiveness is often where many people want to jump to, right away. But forgiveness isn’t a substitute for or a ticket out from the emotional mess and impact of relational aggression or any other type of abuse.

Forgiveness doesn’t bypass pain. Forgiveness is a state of grace that reflects the healing you have done. You can be willing to forgive, but you can’t choose to forgive if you are not ready.

Forgiveness is not something that can be demanded or extracted from you, nor is it for other people’s convenience - like the aggressor who doesn’t want to be bothered by the pain they caused in you or people who don’t want to be reminded of their pain by yours or well meaning friends and family who just want to see your suffering end. Forgiveness doesn’t twist your arm to be given.

Forgiveness, also, doesn’t mean what happened was okay. Nor does it absolve people of their responsibility for the part they played in any bullying or abusive situation. The situation still needs to be resolved to assure hurtful behavior doesn’t continue or happen again.

Forgiveness is compassionate - not only for another but for you.

And I, personally, don’t believe it’s necessary to moving on.

Some people say you can’t be free if you don’t forgive, but I think you can be held in place by the judgment you pass on yourself for not forgiving, so much more, than if you were at peace for not being able to forgive at the present moment.

If you can, you can. If you can’t, then fly anyway and let yourself embrace all the love there is for you to receive. You may find one day, forgiveness snuck up on you when you were busy engaging life.

Whatever or however you forgive or don’t, let it be real and let it be authentic.

Give voice to your anger, your pain. Give attention to where you are. Listen to those parts of you that hurt and let them know you hear them. Let that energy take you to the place of letting go.

You can walk away without saying “I forgive”. You’re not condemned to live a loveless, joyless life. When you are ready to deepen those experiences, you may find yourself in that place of forgiveness, but you can experience much happiness without it. Let yourself have that much and see where it takes you.

“For the Sake of Love” was written almost back to back with “Dancing Cranes.” The song came before the forgiveness did for me, but once I opened the door to compassion in “Dancing Cranes” the goodwill could not be contained. It swept over me and out into my world like water set free from a dam. I wanted to bless everyone.

But I didn’t push the water. It flowed on its own accord. As I took those first steps to letting go, I found that I could see more clearly. Not only outward but inward. Forgiveness became a possibility - for real. And once again I was given an invitation.

“Open your heart…be who you are…” the song says.

Who might that be?

Healing Steps 4 on Tuesday…soon

Intro to Healing Steps Series
Healing Steps 1
Healing Steps 2