Here’s an interesting article I found. Are girls worse bullies than boys? from Guardian Unlimited: Mortarboard
Responses from the readers to this article are interesting, especially the last one. The depth of her pain touched me, but how much of her life her wounds from relational aggression consumed shook me.
i am nearly 40 years of age and i cannot even begin to describe the rage i still have in me from being bullied and socially ostracised for years by girls who used to be my friends. all for what? i have no idea apart from i may have tried to call the queen bee’s bluff one day, something stupid, something so little. i paid for it forever. the damage lasts forever. ive never been able to make friends after that. everyone kept away from me. laughed behind my back. got in my face. kept other girls away from me. its as if ive been permanently marked, now i live in another country and still other women stay away from me. this is a lifelong sentence, there is no therapy, i cant stand people who feel sorry for the bullies. all they are are complete bitches who get off on tormenting someone else mercilessly. id rather have just been beaten up. id rather have been a boy. thank god i had a boy not a girl. i will always hate those girls for what they did. if i ever see one and recognise her i might just kill her. i have had fantasies about that. so if youre a bully and youre reading this, consider that possibility.
i dont know why girls are so cruel. its maybe something to do with the fact they are socialised to not fight. so they use their minds instead. it is cowardly, its pathetic, and its far meaner than any punch or kick in the world. i would have taken a million beatings in exchange for what i got.
by bwhiskey
Lest anyone should trivialize relational aggression, it is a very real and serious form of abuse. My heart goes out to this individual, who has apparently suffered so much and has not, for whatever reason, been given or allowed the healing she deserves.
I disagree with her – there is therapy, there is healing.
Some traumatizing events inflict wounds that are so deep, leaving scars that never disappear. There are some things that happen in life where you are never the same, but I do believe and I know that you can play a very big role in deciding what that “never the same” will ultimately mean.
Perhaps, what comes out even more strongly for me than anything else in her comment is the incredible sense of isolation she feels. It’s for women and girls like her that I write, and for everyone else in between.
We need each other.
Recent Comments