by Phoenix - Guest Author

Nurses and crabs in a pot.

When I was describing my plight of nasty nursing peers and back stabbing by fellow nurses to a dear friend, she described it as being similar to “crabs in a pot”! Each crab will pull the others down to try to get out themselves, and nobody winds up getting out!

I would like to speak out for nurses, and about relational aggression in the nursing field. I had been struggling in the nursing field for years, changing jobs and never feeling comfortable.

There is a nursing shortage. It’s not for lack of jobs or even pay. It’s in part due to stressful conditions. Most of the nurse to patient ratios are terrible. Dealing with people when they are not well, and “their” emotional stress is hard enough, but many times peers are vicious to one another.

I believe this is one of the major problems and reasons for the nursing shortages. I think the problem is many times the nurses themselves! Competition is intense when there is no need for competition. There should be a helping hands instead. Support should be extended to fellow nurses and caregivers as well as to the patient, family and friends of the patient.

Nurses have never been *taught* to care for one another! What is wrong with this picture? Why don’t nurses extend sympathy to each other, just by understanding the intensity of the stress and being able to relate?

I had such a naive attitude when I first started as a nurse. I was going to help save the world from a shortage of nurses by one. I was going to try to help someone have a better quality of life. I would make money while I was at it … it sounded like a dream to me!

When I was in nursing school on a clinical rotation a charge nurse called us students “stewed dunces”. The charge nurse was impatient and unkind to us, but ever so sweet to the patients, family, and friends.

I learned early on that “nurses eat their young”, the exact words from my therapist, quoting his wife who retired from nursing. She was right!

I was “slow” passing my medications for fear of making a mistake (which could literally kill or harm someone), and I was also trying to do my duties “by the book” and out of respect for the patients - knocking on the door, announcing who I was, what my intentions for being there were, etc. But I was yelled at, “What’s wrong with you!” and questioned by another nurse as to why I was so “damned” slow.

And she was a coworker. Not my charge nurse. I was hurt and in tears. I remained accurate and respectful, even if it meant going slower, but I began to question my abilities.

So it goes in nursing. What puzzles me the most is the fact that nurses put down one another to each other and behind each others’ backs, and seem to compete as to who is the best nurse. Why? I do not wonder why there is a nursing shortage.

Is there anybody out there who can relate? Can the relational aggression be acknowledged? It happens, it is a fact. It is a problem. What is the answer? I believe acknowledging the problem would be a great start.