One thing that has impressed me throughout the whole journey of writing my book, “Where There’s Smoke“, is how much women care.

I’ve developed an attitude toward the stereotypes of women and girls as “cut throaty” and “backstabbing”. I don’t think it’s fair.

True, I have a song by that name, “Backstabber“. It was a necessary part of my healing to write it, but the point of the song was to express the anger and pain a target feels, not to typecast anybody. Plus, the song shifts towards the end, placing responsibility on the target for her own behavior, and giving her a warning of how easy it would be for her to betray her own self (or back stab herself), as well.

Through whatever anger and insecurity that may cause us to behave in ways that are hurtful to one another, there is a deep underlying current of compassion and caring for one another. The definition of female is not sociopath. Women throughout the ages have been the driving force behind community and the social causes that address what’s wrong in our society – many of the ills that patriarchal values are responsible for.

You know, we have such a knee jerk reaction to “male bashing”, but we don’t give it a second though to “female bash”.

In addressing our negativity and weaknesses, lets not forget or diminish our positive qualities and our strengths.

It’s the “good girl/bad girl” dichotomy that is the breeding ground from where relational aggression is so apt to spring – not the natural human heart of a woman or girl.

The choices we sometimes make are what need to be changed. Not our nature.