I was at a homeschool gathering at a park the other day, and one of the mothers related an experience she just had. Her daughter had a birthday party and several of her girl friends were over. One of the girl’s father was there. His daughter was not homeschooled, as he did not believe in it. After they had gotten home, the father remarked to his wife how amazed he was at how the girls interacted with one another. His daughter was in the 5th grade, and he had sat in on a number of social functions with her and her classmates. He was impressed by how different this interaction was among his daughter and her homeschool friends.
Evidently, he was used to seeing girls talk about who was dating who or who was wearing what or whatever the latest cultural fad was. He was keenly aware of some of the kind of bickering and competition and relational aggressive type of behavior that can occur in even an afternoon. But here, he witnessed girls playing make believe and having conversations about real stuff, rather than social hierarchies and who was cool and who wasn’t. There seemed to be a deeper level of comraderie. He was, also, impressed with how the girls related to the adults. He was so impressed, that after they got home, he told his wife he was willing to have his daughter homeschooled.
This is not a scientific study. It’s only the observation of one person in one situation. However, I have to wonder how much of our environment and setting affects how we relate to one another. Are girls naturally competitive with one another, in this superficial way – clothes, social status, relationship to boys, etc., as a normal developmental stage…or do they become more like that in a setting that, either intentionally or inadvertantly, places value on these things?
Demian,
~DreamSinger – Healing Songs
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