This week I watched as some very talented fifth grade girls acted out scenarios that came right from real life. As an observer, it was all too easy to see how relational aggression gets conveyed through a hand on the hip, the flip of one’s hair, a roll of the eyes, oh-so-dramatic sighs, and other body language that gives a message every bit as hurtful as words.

“I’m all about drama,” one adorable girl told me, and for a second I saw not the sweet child in front of me but a young woman capable of wounding her peers on the playground with a withering look or snicker.

Women young and old tend to be quicker at reading body language–so it makes sense that we pick up on the hidden cues of posture and gestures. Think about what your body language conveys, and make it work for you. There’s a woman I know who enters the room so gracefully all heads turn in admiration, ready to hear what she has to say–and then there’s another who charges in and sets everyone on edge before a word is said.

For an interesting article about how body language can evoke emotion read this national geographic article.