It’s so easy to see relational aggressors as other people, or to recognize the insecurity and hostility within people who engage in this type of bullying. And it is important to do so, but I think it’s also crucial to see relational aggression in terms of how you measure against it, yourself.

The fact is, when you feel insecure or inwardly hostile, you stand a greater chance of becoming a relational aggressor. Likewise, when you are feeling secure, when you are more at peace with yourself and self-respecting, the likelihood that you will resort to relational aggression is greatly reduced.

Certainly, relational aggressors and targets are real and individual people, and people need to be held accountable for their bheavior, but for our own empowerment and on whatever healing journey we may be on, it’s important to remember that the reality of an aggressor is only a choice away for each one of us.

Demian,
~DreamSinger- Healing Songs