Monthly Archives: October, 2005
Who Me?
It’s so easy to see relational aggressors as other people, or to recognize the insecurity and hostility within people who engage in this type of bullying. And it is important to do so, but I think it’s also crucial to see relational aggression in terms of how you measure against it, yourself. The fact is, [...]
We Are Not Alone!
I’m amazed at the interest in relational aggression these days–there seems to be a global awareness of the need to find “a better way” of relating to each other. When I first began researching the topic of relational aggression it was remarkable to discover that many early articles and websites on bullying came from the [...]
Principle Players
Excerpt from Where There’s Smoke Relational aggressors are those who use a relationship, either theirs or the relationships of other people, as leverage or weapon, to bully, intimidate, control and/or punish another person. The aggressor can be an acquaintance or an old friend. She can be a long-standing enemy or a new rival. Targets are [...]
Relational Aggression vs. Plain Meanness
Certain behaviors of relational aggression can occur between two people in any given context. It becomes relational aggression when the existence of the relationship, itself, or the person’s status in it is threatened for the purpose of controlling or punishing that person. For example, the aggressor may threaten to withhold her friendship, if the other [...]
Kindness versus Niceness
Nice is good, but kind is better. Kindness is niceness with backbone and substance, where sugar and spice is niceness with fluff. Sugar and spice is opaque. You can’t see through it to the hidden agendas. Kindness has nothing to hide. Kindness is limitless while respecting boundaries. It’s honest, and like life, seeks balance. Kindness [...]
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