Every year, I watch one and only one television show regularly. In 2005, it was Everyone Loves Raymond until my editor suggested I tune in to Desperate Housewives.

It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated–but I still found my teeth clenching in a way my dentist warns against at least once per episode. When a journalist asked me if I could explain why so many men love the show, I suddenly understood my risk for TMJ: the only thing these housewives despair for is a man. On DH, careers, children, and even friendships are all relegated to second place unless they help a woman win the ultimate prize: a guy.

I decided to watch other shows, and discovered worse. The Bachelor gives women license to be openly rude and degrading to each other. The Next American Model encourages girls to be petty and judges to humiliate. A Gilligan’s Island commercial featuring Mary Ann and Ginger wrestling each other physically (in sexy outfits, of course) was the one that made me click the TV off.

Granted, there are shows that portray women positively–but they’re in the minority. RA between ‘tweens and teens competing for a boy is one of the most common situations I hear about–is it any surprise when TV, movies, magazines, and music relentlessly pit women against each other? Last year it was the “clawfest” between Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osborne that made news; this year it’s the “catfight” between Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson.

Studies have shown two important things: 1) teens are still developing the cognitive capacity to critically analyze the subtext of a situation, and 2) an accumulation of messages about violence does influence behavior.

In a Camp Ophelia session this summer, one young woman described fights between girls at her school that often turned physical. The front row spectators to these brawls are boys, who cheer the girls on and suggest they rip each other’s shirts off. “They just want to think everyone’s fighting over them,” she told us.

Hmmm…..sounds a lot like a junior version of DH to me.