No!

If you are or have been a target of relational aggression, you did nothing to deserve it. No one has the right to single you out, to be cruel or entice others to have a good laugh at your expense.

If you are different, it’s certainly not a crime to be different, and it’s not a crime to have something someone else wants or to be a person others may envy. These are not punishable offenses or conditions that justify any type of assault - physical, emotional or psychological.

Even if you did do something wrong or offended someone or committed a transgression, the one wronged or offended or transgressed against has the right to tell you how she feels. She has the right to hold you accountable, to let you know what you did and how it affected her. She has the right to object.

She does not have the right to complain to everyone but you. She does not have the right to spread rumors or talk behind your back, or assault your reputation. She does not have the right to twist facts, fabricate stories or lie blatantly, selectively or through omission, to make her look better or you worse. She does not have the right to instigate, inspire or manipulate others into being ignorant or rude or cruel to you on her behalf.

You also have the right to object, and holding someone accountable for their actions and the impact of their actions is not an assault - no matter how much she wants to claim it is. She does not have the right to suddenly play victim to distract others from her responsibility or to get others to feel sorry for her against you.

I also want you to know if you find yourself in this situation you may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim. You are more empowered than you realize. As negative as this experience may be, and as unfair as it most certainly is, this experience contains within it a wealth of opportunity for you to learn and grow in strength and wisdom.

And that you do deserve.

Demian,
~DreamSinger

Excerpt from “Where There’s Smoke”